We are increasingly lonely, especially in modern relationships. Is it because of the wrong motivation, why do we even start a partnership? If you, too, feel lonely despite the relationship, you will now find out why. You’ll be surprised!
Why we can’t have a happy relationship
The answer is as simple as it is complicated, because it lies within us. The cliché that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else is completely true in this case.
Unfortunately, far too many people plunge into relationships that are based on many things, but unfortunately love is not one of them.
Rather, it is sexual attraction and the idealized imagination of a person with whom a partnership is then entered into. Often we not only have ideals of how our potential partner should look like, no, the other should also compensate for our own “shortcomings” if possible.
Modern Relationships – Compensation for Your Own Weaknesses?
Even if that sounds totally unromantic, it is not always love why we choose someone. The other person should often compensate for our weaknesses, provide entertainment and protect us from being alone, but of course all of this only within the framework of how we imagine it.
In this way the partner often becomes
- Cleaning aid,
- Computer specialist,
- Sexual partner,
- Cuddly toy,
- And much more
What is your partner for you? Have you ever thought about it?
Is it really the deep inner sense of connection?
The honest need to just want to make others happy – to give them the best – to do them good and treat them lovingly?
Or do we really expect the partner to make us happy and to take care of us?
Often a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is the constant companion, which makes things unnecessarily complicated.
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Too much togetherness makes you lonely
Selfishness, expectations and jealousy have no place in love-based relationships. and yet most modern partnerships struggle with it.
Do you only live next to each other?
So you may live together, but still everyone bumbles for themselves without giving the other the necessary respect and appreciation that they actually deserve and need. And then comes the point where you get used to that feeling.
But then it becomes dangerous!
because from here; we come to terms with the fact that the relationship is as it is and hope that someday a miracle will give us this happy partnership that is always shown to us on TV and on the big screen. Until then, we’ll stay with the current partner – it’s not bad – it’s just not real love either.
Lonely despite a relationship?
Time to work on YOU
Partners are still two individuals and have different needs. However, it is primarily your own responsibility to ensure that needs are met. In order for this to work in the partnership, healthy communication is particularly important. Because it doesn’t help at all if you just stick back and totally forget yourself and your needs. Sooner or later, this leads to frustration, argument and discomfort.
So if you feel lonely despite the relationship, then it is time to work on yourself and no longer feel lonely, then you are no longer lonely in your relationship.
Be enough for yourself, then you can also be enough for your partner.
Read minds? It does not work …
Those who expect their loved one to read their thoughts and fulfill their wishes are guaranteed to be disappointed. Of course, a basic need of love is happy to see others – but your own interests should not be in the foreground.
Ultimately, we all want us to be loved unconditionally for our own character. To do this, however, we first have to accept ourselves and simply accept others as they are. So if you no longer feel lonely alone, you are no longer lonely together.
The task of a relationship is not that our partner makes us happy. If everyone concentrates on doing well for themselves and each other, there is actually nothing standing in the way of a happy, long and loving partnership, because even modern relationships are not necessarily doomed to fail.