Although the word no is only made up of four letters, it is difficult for many women to get it off their lips. No sooner has anyone asked them than they say yes. In retrospect, they are annoyed because they have one more task on their feet. Saying no, however, is important to be able to do justice to yourself.
In this post, I’ll reveal three ways you can say no in a friendly way.
Learning to say no without feeling guilty
Why is it so uncomfortable to say no clearly? The reasons for this are different. Some women fear a conflict that may result in a no. Others do not want to be seen as selfish, and still others have been raised to always be nice. You may also like the feeling of being needed.
But saying no is not a bad thing. In this way you create space and time for yourself. At the same time, you gain respect from others because you stand up for yourself and your needs. With a no you also strengthen your self-esteem, because every no is also a yes to yourself.
Three ways to say no
All well and good, but how can you actually practice saying no? It is not necessary to harshly offend the other person. A no can be formulated politely and yet clearly.
Here are three options:
- Offer an alternative
Instead of simply rejecting a request, you can suggest another solution. It can sound like this, for example: “I’m not the right person for this job, but I like to ask who can help you with it.”
I can’t make you a cake to celebrate, but I like to go to the bakery stop by and bring something with you.
You should only say such things if you mean them seriously and do not use them as excuses.
- The sandwich method
Wrap your answer – the no – between two positive statements. Imagine you’re supposed to go to a party, but you don’t feel like it.
Your answer could be as follows:
Positive: I am very happy that you are thinking of me and inviting me.
Your rejection: Unfortunately, I have already planned something else that evening.
Positive: I wish you that Fest will be great and you have a lot of fun.
- Show empathy
by showing the other person that you understand, making no sounds less harsh. I can understand that you want support in this, but I already have plans. However, I will be happy to help you on another occasion.
How to say no
Here are a few suggestions on how to say no. Of course, you are free to modify these a little.
- I don’t want to do that.
- Thanks for your offer. As I am currently heavily involved in my job, I cannot accept it.
- Thank you for inquiring, but I don’t feel like doing that.
- No, that’s too much for me.
- Unfortunately, I cannot do that.
It may be that the other person doesn’t like the no, but you don’t owe him any explanations. The key is that you only say yes to something when you really want to. You can always make an acceptance from an initial no. Conversely, it is often more difficult.
Learning to say no is important
Allow yourself to be allowed to say no and free yourself from the thought of wanting to please everyone – that is not possible. For years I was stuck in the yes-trap myself and gradually broke away from it. As a result, I enjoy a lot more freedom today for what is really important to me.
And your friends and family will also appreciate that you say honestly when you want something, but also when something does not suit you at all. That’s why it is better to learn to say no properly today than tomorrow and you will see that with a little practice saying no is no longer that difficult.
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